12/13/2011

Way to go

Normally, I would not expect anything pro-marriage to come out of The Atlantic, but here it is:

Our report suggests, in contrast, that in today's marriages both wives and husbands benefit when they embrace an ethic of marital generosity that puts the welfare of their spouse first. That is, both are happier in their marriages when they make a regular effort to serve their spouse in small ways -- from making them a cup of coffee, to giving them a back rub after a long day, to going out of their way to be affectionate or forgiving. So the lesson here is not for wives now to throw off an other-centered ethic as a relic of an ancient era, but rather for contemporary husbands to embrace this ethic for themselves and their families.

Today, a growing proportion of young adults in the United States worry that having both a good marriage and a happy family life with children is unattainable. And their worries are mirrored in much of the commentary, television shows, and movies that dwell on relationships and family life in America.

But we have good news for these young people. By embracing some new values -- like date nights, shared housework, and an ethic of marital generosity -- and some old values -- like commitment, thrift, and a shared faith -- it appears that today's parents can dramatically increase their odds of forging a stable and happy marriage. This means that couples need not despair after the arrival of a baby. If one-third of today's married parents can successfully combine marriage and parenthood, surely many more can flourish when baby makes three.

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