The role of a husband

https://life-craft.org/a-husbands-place-forging-peace-in-the-home/

Speaking of the order we must all put in our own lives—in which order the love of God is first and the root of all else—Augustine emphasizes how for a married man there is this immediate implication: “He ought to make this endeavor in behalf of his wife, his children, his household, all within his reach…” He proceeds to hammer this home: “Primarily, therefore, his own household are his care, for the law of nature and of society gives him readier access to them and greater opportunity of serving them.”

The word ‘serving’ here is important, as it contextualizes Augustine’s use of the word ‘ruling’ for how the husband and father seeks to put right order into life in the home.

While this topic calls for extensive and careful consideration, here two things especially strike me. First, a husband’s care and so also ruling of others begins in his putting right order into his own affections and actions, starting in his relationship with God. Indeed, Augustine strikingly says ‘this endeavor’ is ‘in behalf’ of his loved ones. A man’s effort in his relationship with the Lord is the foundation of his relating well to his wife and children.

Second, by nature a married man’s first focus is how he can take care of his household. This implies that there is much that demands his ‘ordering.’ Seemingly countless disparate things must be woven together. Household life is like a garden; it is fundamentally a matter of arranging, prioritizing, and also weeding. Constantly.