Conviviality

When Newman converted to Catholicism in 1845 and prepared for priestly ordination thereafter, he discovered in the Oratory of St. Philip Neri the community he was looking for and introduced it to England. Newman lived as an Oratorian in Birmingham until his death in 1890, and his relics are venerated there. 

In choosing St. Philip Neri as his model, Cardinal Newman chose the convivial approach over the combative one. In 16th-century Rome, with the post-Reformation challenges for the Church at their height, two saints offered contrasting, but not contradictory, approaches. Philip Neri was the “saint of gentleness and kindness” as Newman would write, while Ignatius of Loyola was the man of martial combat. Ignatius viewed Philip’s approach as too soft, unequal to the moment.

Both are needed, but Newman chose Philip Neri. It is therefore amusing that Leo chose the feast day of Ignatius to confer the title of “Doctor of the Church” on a son of St. Philip Neri. 

Ignatius preached the importance of sentire cum Ecclesia (“thinking with the Church”) — and no one did it better than John Henry Newman. To think with the Church does not mean simply repeating with the Church. Thinking with the Church begins with thinking, and the convivial atmosphere of conversation, not combat, is conducive to working out one’s thoughts.

When setting out to found a Catholic university in Ireland, Newman set down his thoughts on the character of the men he wished to form. In his Definition of a Gentleman, Newman laid out what might be considered a thoroughgoing rebuke to the internet “manosphere” and its Catholic accomplices:

“[A gentleman] is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend.”

-from Fr. deSouza's list of 8 Ways we need Newman now

https://www.ncregister.com/commentaries/newman-is-the-doctor-of-the-church-we-need-now