I am discovering several sweet parallels between the story of Louis & Zelie and my own story of being in love with Amy.
For example, they fell in love on a bridge, and Amy and I had our first kiss on a bridge:
These two craftsmen, the clock-maker and the lace-maker, lived in different parishes, and their families were not acquainted. The two did not know one another. They waited. How they met one fine day on St. Leonard’s bridge, like Joachim and Anne at the Golden Gate; how he made way for her, and she passed him; how they looked at one another; how Zélie recognized unerringly that this was the companion intended for her by God: all this is a secret that Heaven has kept well.We only know that there was mutual understanding and delight, that the families met, and that the two were married. https://catholicexchange.com/sts-louis-zelie-martin-holiness-marriage-endurance/
Amy and I taught the importance of trustful surrender in our marriage preps for engaged couples, and the Martins abided fully in that teaching:
Louis and his wife surrendered so well that in the face of great suffering, they uttered in union Mary’s Fiat. In the space of three years, Louis would bury four of his children... In the face of great sorrow, Louis, instead of curling up in isolation, stepped forward in courage to be the pillar of support to his wife and his family. Providing the comfort, strength and assurance they needed to tide through the rough waves. He always directed them to God and assured them that God was with them through their sorrows and had a glorious plan for them.https://virtueofwisdom-com.medium.com/the-extraordinary-in-the-ordinary-st-louis-martin-78ccc4963009
In their home on the Rue Saint-Blaise, he would put aside his career to support her work, and in Alpena, I became stay-at-home dad so that Amy could be the breadwinner.
After becoming a widower, Louis continued to husband in their domestic church:
Yet his feminine side was well developed. When he was left a single parent, he became both father and mother to his daughters, who said “our father’s affectionate heart was enriched with a truly maternal love for us.” Many days he escorted the girls to and from school, listening patiently to the accounts of their days. Every evening he joined them after supper in their little salon, making toys for them, singing to them, telling them stories, reciting poems, and playing games before family prayers. " I am the Bobillon [that is, tender and kindly] with my children," he would say. https://www.louisandzeliemartin.org/blessed-louis-and-zelie-martin-blog/2009/6/20/blessed-louis-martin-the-incomparable-father-of-st-therese-o.html
Louis, also a third child, had at first discerned a vocation to the religious life of a monk, as did I, and had to become "resigned to disappointment," a feeling very familiar to me when trying to discern God's path for my life. I certainly didn't expect to be raising four children on my own. How can I hope to live as holy a life as he did? Detachment:
Louis firmly believed that everything in his life was a product of God’s grace. He knew that God, far from being a detached, angry and distant party, was a God who watched over him and his family with love. Together with his wife, he acknowledged that it was God’s hand in the great graces of their lives: Their success in work and family. Whenever a serious decision proved to be providentially judicious, they thanked God, knowing that He had been inspiring and guiding them. God was too close to not be interested in them.
However, following his successes, he knew full well of the allure of idolatry that worldly success could bring. Thus, in the spirit of asceticism, to be more perfectly in union with Christ, he chose simple, discreet but firm asceticism as a means of detachment.
He restricted himself from smoking, drinking between meals, and moving closer to the fire unless necessary. In his travels, he always chose third class and ate poor quality bread that was generally meant for the poor. These simple sacrifices, although are not the ends in themselves, provided St Louis with a detachment from material things.
Amy and I were only married 15 years, and we had been best friends for 8 years prior. Our time united in this life was short, and Amy passed in her early 40s, as did Zelie. I will be praying the Novena in honor of St. Louis Martin, my heroic example of being a holy widower:
At age 45, Zelie developed breast cancer. She continued to trust in God as she suffered, despite feeling reluctant to leave her family behind. She eventually died from the disease, when she and Louis had been married for nineteen years. Louis continued on alone in the task of raising his children to be holy, staying faithful himself and remaining thankful that God had given him nineteen years of joy with Zelie.Saints Louis and Zelie Martin’s Feast Day: July 12
Read more at: https://www.praymorenovenas.com/saints-louis-and-zelie-martin-novena
“If the Good Lord wants to heal me, I will be very happy, because deep down, I want to live; it costs me to leave my husband and my children. But on the other hand, I say to myself: if I do not get well, it is because it will perhaps be more useful for them to go away ”-ZELIE MARTIN
https://www.therese-de-lisieux.catholique.fr/en/lhistoire/histoire-louis-zelie/
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